


Jaded Days

by ribbitpiano



Series: Havenset [4]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Comfort/Angst, Friendship, Gen, Neurodivergent Jade Harley, Neurodivergent Nepeta Leijon, Neurodivergent Vriska Serket, Pale Romance | Moirallegiance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-28
Updated: 2020-02-28
Packaged: 2021-02-28 01:33:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,121
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22925695
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ribbitpiano/pseuds/ribbitpiano
Summary: Your name is Jade Harley, and your friend Vriska's insisting that she's changed. You'll see about that, but you trust her enough.
Relationships: Jade Harley/Vriska Serket
Series: Havenset [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1640572
Kudos: 7





	Jaded Days

You struggle to fight the covers off of you. It’s more of a mental struggle than a physical one. The warm chains of sunlit sheets are nigh impossible to defeat, and yet, you prevail. 

Your name is Jade Harley, and you can always have a nap later anyways.

After a good ten minutes of challenging your bounds, you arise from bed. It’s not like you have any definite plans to be waking up for, but Vriska keeps you on your toes with that stuff. You always have to be ready for a social sucker punch with her. Also, it’s 11 am. Your plushed chains have kept you slumbering long past what’s socially acceptable, not that you really pay too much mind to that, but it’s still good to be awake when everyone else is. You lumber out of your large, soft bed, feeling an awful lot like some kind of eldritch bog creature from one of Rose’s books, and sit down at your desk. You open your laptop, just a normal kind, not like your old lunchtop, and open discord. 

GG: whats the vibes today everyone? :o   
AA: jade youre awake   
GG: yeah!   
AG: Took you long enough, it’s like noon!  
TA: n0t quite but still   
GG: i was just having a snooze! you guys know how it is  
AA: whats wrong with sleeping in until eleven  
AG: Okay, that’s coming from you, Megido. When’s the last time you slept at all????????  
AA: yesterday  
AG: What time ::::|   
AA: i dont remember   
AG: >::::|  
AG: Fine. I’m sorry for 8eing pushy.   
TA: y0u ap0l0gize n0w?  
AG: Yes! I’ve realized the errors of my former ways.   
GG: :o   
TA: w0w  
AG: Don’t act like you’re surprised! I’m nice now, I swear!  
AA: nice people dont swear   
AG: That’s not what I meant and you know it!  
AA: :)   


The discord server is lively and well this morning, as it tends to be with this many people in it. Vriska’s arguing with someone as usual, although she says she’s doing some redemption deal. You’re really not sure what to think about that, but if she really is trying to change herself, then that’s good for her. You’ll have to wait and see if that really ends up happening, but there’s no reason to doubt that she’s trying, Vriska does tend to put her all into things. You hear a ding notifying you of an incoming message, and check it out. Speak of the devil, it’s from Vriska.

AG: Got any plans today?   


Something’s up. 

GG: not really...   
GG: why do you ask?   
AG: Oh, gr8!   
AG: Mind if I come over l8r? ::::)  
GG: well i dont mind but...  
GG: you usually have some sort of scheme going on...  
AG: No schemes! I’m a changed woman!  
AG: Promise. ::::)  
GG: hmm...   


Knowing Vriska, this could be anything. She could be avoiding the cops and you wouldn’t be surprised. 

GG: no offense vriska but why should i believe you?   
AG: 8ecause I’ll 8ring you a coffee?   
GG: :|   
GG: okay, what time were you thinking about coming over?  
AG: Hooray! Thanks Jade, you’re the 8est. May8e just after lunch? ::::)   
GG: are you trying to get out of doing something for someone else again?   
AG: That doesn’t matter! It’s Terezi’s turn to do the dishes anyways.  
GG: okay, that explains it.   
AG: 8ut I want to spend time with you too!   
AG: It’s not *just* an avoidance tactic.  
GG: okay, you can come over.   
GG: dont forget the coffee though!   
GG: i take my bribes seriously >:)  
AG: I won’t, don’t worry! See you in a couple hours.  


Alright, well now you have some plans. It could be worse, it’s not like you mind Vriska all that much, she’s really not bad, she’s just... a handful. You’re sure it’ll be just fine. You can see the discord server’s activity lighting up again, which it does often. There’s something like 35 people in there? It’s not like you have to hurry and get ready, Vriska really won’t care if you’re in pajamas anyways. You wouldn’t be surprised if she showed up in pajamas too, honestly. Anyways, you don’t have anything better to do, so you go back on the discord server. 

AC: :33 < whats going on efurrybody?  
GG: oh hi nepeta!   
AC: :33 < hi jade!!!  
TA: n0things really g0ing 0n at all actually  
TA: except vriska having s0me s0rt 0f m0ral epiph0ny   
AC: :33 < oh boy   
AC: :33 < well good fur her!   
AG: Thank you, Nepeta!  
AG: *Some* people here don’t 8elieve that I’m actually trying to change.  
AG: And I can’t really 8lame them.  
TA: w0w   
AA: well at least shes self aware  
TC: somebody else gettin their motherfuckin redemption on?  
TC: aint that just fucking pogchamp  
TG: did someone say poggers  
GG: wow hey everyone!   
AG: Yeah, anyway, I’m gonna 8e nice now.   
AC: :33 < well good fur mew  
TA: if it actually happens  
GG: well guys we have no reason to say it wont!  
GG: people really do change sometimes  


You’re inadvertently simping for Vriska now. You really do believe that she might be trying her best to change, but you really never thought you’d come to a point in your life where you were defending Vriska. She usually does a good enough job herself. Just as you decide that you might get up and go do something else, another message, of course. This one’s from Nepeta. 

AC: :33 < im sorry to be confurontative but do mew think vwiskers can really change?   
AC: :33 < i trust you but i dont know about this  
GG: im really not sure either...   
GG: shes said a lot of things that werent true in the past but maybe she really means it?  
AC: :33 < maybe  
GG: she hasnt really done anything bad on earth c i think   
AC: :33 < thats true  
GG: well shes coming over here later, i can ask her stuff if you want?  
AC: :33 < she is?  
AC: :33 < not to be purresumptuous but could i maybe come over too?   
AC: :33 < it would be nice to s33 mew and i could purrobably ask some questions   
AC: :33 < and vwiskers isnt that bad either  
GG: of course!   
GG: the more the merrier and it would be nice to see you again :D   
GG: im sure vriska wont have a problem with it  
AC: :33 < thanks jade!!!   
AC: :33 < s33 mew later   


Well, having one more person come over doesn’t change anything, and it’ll be nice to see Nepeta again. You haven’t seen her for a while, and you’re pretty sure her and Vriska get along decently. This time, you really do decide to get up from your desk, as you figure whatever conversations going on in the server now don’t require your attention. It’s probably just Olly and Gamzee discussing the lore of pogchamp again. You decide to get some lunch, and to do the dishes, since you’re going to have guests over. You’re still in your pajamas, and decide you might as well change into some shorts and a large, baggy shirt. That’s essentially pajamas, but they’re in your normal clothes drawer so they’re socially acceptable when meeting with friends. Besides, this is Nepeta and Vriska you’re having over, two of the most catlike people on the planet. They care less about your clothes than they do about whether you’ve got a soft pile of pillows in the sun to sleep on, and for the record, you do. After a morning of doing what you want, albeit quite lazily, there’s a knock at your door. Eight knocks, actually. It’s kind of annoying how she does that.

JADE: im coming!! hold on a sec  
VRISKA: Take your time!   
You open the door, and greet Vriska. Nepeta’s not with her, but you’re sure she’ll pop up before long too. You stand aside, and Vriska enters the house with a slight nod. Very polite, considering the fact that she’s Vriska. She hands you a coffee, surprisingly actually fulfilling her end of the bargain, and you accept.

JADE: come on in!  
VRISKA: Thank you, Jade.   


Vriska lays herself down on a couple blankets and pillows you left piled on the floor. Predictable. You turn on the TV and put on some Smash Bros video, since you know Vriska’s a huge gamer. You don’t mind video games yourself, but you’re not nearly as competitive as Vriska is. The atmosphere is a little awkward, neither of you having said much, so you try and break the ice and get everyone comfortable. 

JADE: so... how are you?  
VRISKA: I’m alright.  
VRISKA: How are you, Jade?   
JADE: im doing pretty good! me and rose and kanaya are together now so im definitely happy about that :D  
VRISKA: That’s good!  
JADE: how are you and june and terezi doing?  
VRISKA: Oh, we’re gr8. June’s a really nice girl, I should have asked her out sooner...  
JADE: i still dont really believe that you were the one to ask her out but okay!  
VRISKA: I was! You can ask Terezi or June, they’ll tell you the same thing!  
JADE: hehehehe its ok vriska you can say you were afraid  
VRISKA: Well, of course I was afraid.   
VRISKA: How was I supposed to know if she actually liked me, or if I was just misreading signals as usual?  


Wow, an actual sincere show of mind from Vriska. That’s not *too* unusual, the two of you are pretty close and she does occasionally say what she thinks around you, but the fact that it’s about something serious and not just the fact that she doesn’t actually like whatever’s on TV is surprising. Still, good for her, it can be very hard to change and it seems like she actually is making an effort. You relate to her struggle of not being able to tell what someone’s feeling pretty strongly.

JADE: i get that   
JADE: im the same way   
VRISKA: Yeah, I think a lot of our friends are.   
JADE: its okay to not be good at reading people  
JADE: as long as youre sincere then the best outcome will happen!   
VRISKA: Yeah. Thanks, Jade.  
VRISKA: And you’re right! I was honest a8out how I felt, and the 8est outcome *did* happen!  
JADE: :D   
JADE: im glad things worked out for you!!  
VRISKA: And I’m glad things worked out for you too!  
VRISKA: How many girlfriends do you have now? Five?  
JADE: two!  
JADE: you know that >:(  
VRISKA: Hehehehe  
VRISKA: Yeah, I know.  
JADE: hehe   


There’s a bit of a lull in the conversation, and the two of you go back to watching youtube. It’s a little awkward again, neither of you are really that good at continuing conversations, but luckily, the doorbell rings. It’s very convenient timing, and you pounce up from your seat to answer it. Vriska looks over her shoulder, not expecting anyone else to be arriving. Unsurprisingly, it’s Nepeta, right on time. You open the door and she greets you with a smile. 

JADE: hi nepeta!  
NEPETA: :33 < hi jade!!!  
JADE: come on in!! :D   


You invite her in, and she lays herself down on another blanket you left on the floor. Two for two. Vriska seems fairly surprised, but you can tell she’s trying not to be upset or react negatively. 

VRISKA: Hey, Nepeta.  
NEPETA: :33 < hello vwiskers!   
VRISKA: How are you?   
NEPETA: :33 < oh!   
NEPETA: :33 < im purretty good, how are mew?   
VRISKA: I’m not too 8ad. It’s nice to see you!   
NEPETA: :33 < its nice to s33 mew too vriska  


You guess the two of them are getting along pretty well. You obviously don’t want any fights going on in your apartment, although you’re pretty sure you could break it up if you needed to. Vriska’s not all that strong, and you’re even a little taller than her. Nepeta is another story, she’s much shorter than you but you’re pretty sure she wrestles bears or something. Regardless, they’re not going to fight, it’s fine. Nepeta’s much too courteous to have a fight at someone else’s place anyways. It’s good that they’re getting along, because really, you just want to have a good day with your friends. 

JADE: so do you guys have anything in mind for today?  
VRISKA: I’m not doing the dishes, if that’s what you’re asking.  
NEPETA: :33 < im purretty sure she was being literal!   
VRISKA: Oh. In that case, I don’t know. We could play a game?   
JADE: oh good idea! games are good   
NEPETA: :33 < what do mew like to play?  
JADE: i like most nintendo stuff! especially kirby :)   
VRISKA: Smash.   
JADE: smash bros is fun too!!  
NEPETA: :33 < works fur me!   
VRISKA: Hell yes. >::::)   


Vriska gets up from the pile of pillows on the floor and turns on the Switch, plugging in a gamecube controller. She must mean business. She hands you and Nepeta a controller, and selects Lucina. You choose Kirby, and Nepeta plays Pikachu. The three of you play a decent few rounds, with Nepeta winning most of them. 

NEPETA: :33 < im surpurrised  
JADE: at what? :o   
NEPETA: :33 < vwiskers isnt getting mad about losing   
VRISKA: Of course I’m not!  
VRISKA: It’s just a game.   
NEPETA: :33 < mew say that like mew dont mewsually get mad   
VRISKA: I’m trying to change, okay?  
VRISKA: I’m sorry if I got mad in the past.  
JADE: :o   
NEPETA: :33 < hmmm...   
NEPETA: :33 < do mew really mean that?   
VRISKA: Yes!  
VRISKA: I’m trying my 8est.  
VRISKA: For real.   
VRISKA: I’m sorry I’ve hurt you in the past, I know what I did was wrong, 8ut I’m trying to 8e a 8etter person now.  


It sounds liks she really means this. She’s starting to choke up a little. You’ve... never seen Vriska cry, or even come close, she’s always this untouchable, confident badass woman who tells people what she wants. Crying is the last thing you thought you’d ever see her do.

JADE: hey, its okay! you can speak your mind here.  
NEPETA: :33 < if mew really are trying to change then im here for mew   
VRISKA: Thanks, you two. I mean it.  
VRISKA: And I really do want to 8e 8etter.   
VRISKA: I’ve done so much 8ad, so many awful things.   
VRISKA: I’ve hurt more people than I’ve helped.  
JADE: yeah...   
JADE: i think weve all made mistakes though!  
VRISKA: Not like me.   
JADE: i mean...  
VRISKA: It’s okay. I fucked up, 8adly. I can’t expect people to forgive me quickly, right?   


Vriska... actually starts to cry. She’s trying not to, you can tell, but she can’t stop herself. The blueish tears roll down her cheek. Almost instinctively, you rush over to her side and hug her. You’re a fair bit bigger than her, and you can really hold her properly. Nepeta prowls over and hugs Vriska from behind, the three of you in some big fluff pile.

NEPETA: :33 < well its impurrtant to not expect things to change too fast   
NEPETA: :33 < but if mew really want to change  
NEPETA: :33 < i think people will furgive you   
JADE: yeah! i think it takes some time, and some people might take longer than others  
JADE: but if youre really trying your hardest to change then i think people will recognize that  
JADE: and i really think you are  
NEPETA: :33 < yeah ive never s33n mew cry befur vwiskers  
NEPETA: :33 < i dont think you could be faking that   
NEPETA: :33 < and i trust mew!   
VRISKA: Why?   
NEPETA: :33 < why?  
VRISKA: Why would you trust me?   
VRISKA: I...   
VRISKA: I did a lot of awful things.  
VRISKA: Oh god, especially to Tavros.   
VRISKA: How am I supposed to change *any* of that????????  


That’s a lot. You really do feel for her, it’s clear that she’s hurting. In a lot of ways, it’s hard to blame her for what she did. You get the feeling that she wasn’t exactly raised in the best of ways, and it’s hard to say it’s all her fault. She was only 13, but still... Most trolls didn’t do what Vriska did. Nowhere near. You can’t say she did nothing wrong. 

JADE: well   
JADE: you cant change the past.   
JADE: you just have to keep moving forward i think.  
JADE: and youre recognizing that youve done wrong, and thats important!  
JADE: thats the first big step  
NEPETA: :33 < and mew have stopped, right?  
NEPETA: :33 < i dont think youve done anything wrong since weve b33n here  
VRISKA: I don’t know...  
VRISKA: I don’t think “not doing anything wrong” is enough to make up for what I *did* do wrong.  
VRISKA: I can’t apologize my way out of half the shit I did to Tavros, much less every8ody else.   
VRISKA: I just........  
VRISKA: I h8 myself!  


That one gets you. You can’t help but relate to that, and it’s hard to see someone hurting so much, in a way so close to how you feel yourself. The only response you have is to hold her closer and tighter, so close that it nearly feels like you’re holding yourself, and really, you sort of are. You think you’re crying now, too? It’s all too hard to tell in this close knit pile of hair and humidity, and it doesn’t really make a difference.

JADE: i know what thats like   
VRISKA: Why would *you* h8 yourself?   
JADE: i dont know, i just...  
JADE: im sorry vriska  
VRISKA: No, I’m sorry... No8ody chooses to h8 themselves, it’s just...  
VRISKA: You’re such a good person!  
JADE: i am?   
VRISKA: Yeah!   
VRISKA: You’re kind, patient, and understanding...  
VRISKA: Everything I’m not.  
JADE: i...   


Really? She thinks of you like that? Like you’re... someone to admire? You can’t even begin to believe that. You’ve spent your whole life hating yourself, clinging too much to people, feeling like you’d be so much better if you could just... assert yourself? Say and do what you want? And Vriska... looks up to you. You hold her closer, as close as you can. You can barely feel the difference, you’re essentially as close as possible at this point, but you hope Vriska can feel it, at least.

JADE: i look up to you, sort of  
JADE: youre confident and you arent afraid to ask for what you need   
JADE: i know youve done bad things too but  
JADE: youre still   
JADE: the person i always wished i could be...   
VRISKA: I mean.   
VRISKA: I’m not trying to get self deprec8ing in here, 8ut...  
VRISKA: Please don’t 8e like me.  
VRISKA: My confidence is all fake anyways, my one positive tr8 and it’s a hoax.  
NEPETA: :33 < well if its convincing people, its as real as it can get   
NEPETA: :33 < both of mew are wonderfur and have pawsitive traits   
NEPETA: :33 < even if you have done bad things in the past!!!  
NEPETA: :33 < that doesnt mean that mew arent or cant be good  
NEPETA: :33 < both of mew   


Alright, you’re definitely crying. Partially just from the outing of all of these feelings you’ve kept bottled up for so fucking long, partially from the support you didn’t expect to find in Vriska and Nepeta. This really wasn’t what you had planned for the day, or ever. You wanted to just keep all these feelings to yourself, like you could eventually see yourself as someone you weren’t, and forget about the time when you hated yourself. But you couldn’t, you had to talk about it now, with Vriska bringing it up. You couldn’t stop yourself, and it didn’t feel that bad to say it, but... it’s scary.

JADE: yeah, i guess so  
JADE: its hard to see myself as anything other than just...  
JADE: just here, i guess?  
JADE: i dont feel like i change anyones life that much at all   
VRISKA: Oh, come on, that’s not true at all!   
VRISKA: I mean, not to 8e rude, sorry.   
VRISKA: 8ut my point stands!  
VRISKA: People love you, Jade!  
VRISKA: For fuck’s sake, *I* love you!  
NEPETA: :33 < i love mew too jade!! youre a really nice purrson   
JADE: thanks you guys :’)  
JADE: i love both of you too  
JADE: unless you meant that in some sort of hearts confession-y way then i dont think i do?  
VRISKA: No, no.   
VRISKA: May8e diamonds. My heart’s full enough.  
NEPETA: :33 < thats sounds like a confession to me!!  


You’re not too well informed on troll romance. From what you’ve heard, it’s sort of just a weird way of being polyamorous, which you already are. But Vriska’s saying it could be diamonds? That’s the queerplatonic one, basically, right? Like, she wants to be close to you? Gah, emotions are so hard. It’s not like you don’t want to be close to her, you just really didn’t expect this from Vriska. You guess it makes sense, if she sort of looked up to you in that way, but it’s just hard for you to understand the feeling of wanting to be around yourself.

VRISKA: ........I guess.   
JADE: :o   
JADE: *is* it a confession???  
VRISKA: Yeah, okay, fuck it.   
VRISKA: I know, right?   
VRISKA: Way to ruin the serious and heartfelt mood, huh Vriska?   
NEPETA: :33 < i think its cute!  
NEPETA: :33 < mew arent ruining the mewd   
NEPETA: :33 < were still being serious and heartfelt!  
VRISKA: I mean.  
VRISKA: Okay, you have a point, 8ut...   
VRISKA: 8ut nothing, I guess. You have a point.   


Surprisingly, Nepeta’s presence doesn’t weigh much on the conversation. She has a moirail, you think? Having her around is really never awkward, and it probably helps the conversation from getting too heavy, especially considering all the stuff you’ve been talking about today. Your mind wanders to thinking about the social dynamic for a few seconds, before realizing the awkward silence of the room and the topic left hanging. 

JADE: so uhh  
JADE: you like me?   
JADE: like diamonds ways, right?   
VRISKA: Yeah.  
VRISKA: I get it, you don’t feel the same and that’s oka-  
JADE: let me speak for myself!!  
JADE: geez, is this how you treat yourself?  
JADE: you just assume nobody likes you???  
VRISKA: I...  
VRISKA: Yeah, pretty much.  
JADE: well youre wrong!  
JADE: i may not really be a good moirail  
JADE: i dont know how to do it  
JADE: but could you teach me?   
NEPETA: :OO < awwwwww  
VRISKA: So w8. That means-  
JADE: i love you!!   
JADE: i know youve done bad things but a lot of people have  
JADE: whats important to me is who you are now   
JADE: and i think i look up to you a lot!  


Vriska obviously doesn’t know what to say, and she just hugs you back. You’ve been sitting in this position for a while, hugging Vriska, but she’s just been sitting there. Now it feels like a proper hug. Of course, Nepeta’s still here, but she’s crawled back a bit to let you two have some space. 

VRISKA: I love you too, Jade.  


That’s not something you can really reply to, so you two stay hugging for a little bit, until Vriska ends up essentially sitting on your lap, facing the TV. You watch some more youtube, various video game based videos, and sit. Nepeta curls up beside the two of you, not wanting to intrude on your personal bonding time, but definitely wanting to be a part of the day. After all, you did invite both Vriska and Nepeta over, and she’s anything but a third wheel. 

After a few hours of watching and playing various games, the three of you start to yawn. It’s been an exhausting time, emotionally more than anything physical, plus, you *did* earlier say you wanted to have a nap. You wonder if it’d be okay for you to just nap here, with Vriska in your arms and Nepeta at your side. Would they mind? It seems like they need to sleep too. Before you can consider asking them, Vriska pipes up.

VRISKA: Hey, can I take a nap?  
JADE: i was just thinking that!!  
JADE: so yes definitely!  
NEPETA: :33 < good idea  
NEPETA: :33 < its a good time fur a catnap   
NEPETA: :33 < good night you two!  
VRISKA: Good night, Nepeta.   
VRISKA: And Jade too, of course! <>   
JADE: goodnight everyone! <>   


Nepeta is the first to fall asleep, and Vriska joins her soon after with a soft purr. You’re pretty sure trolls do that, but these two are distinctly catlike. You can’t help but find the both of them quite cute, and to think about everything that’s happened. Such an eventful day, for both you and Vriska. You didn’t know how much pain she was feeling, and she didn’t know yours. You can only hope that now that it’s out in the open, and that you’re moirails, it’ll only get easier to manage. You rest your head on Vriska, and fall asleep before long.

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first angsty anything I've written! It's definitely not going to be the usual, but I think it's important for Jade and Vriska especially to go over their feelings and realize how much in common they have. I hope you enjoyed as always, more coming soon!


End file.
